True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i need some magic done to my vagina
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
