it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
