apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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