Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
