He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I enjoy the company of your penis
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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