Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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