i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
