We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
