come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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