Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
