She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
