Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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