Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
