you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
