She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
