my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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