I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
