Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize