It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
