And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
