Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
