If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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