batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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