She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
