i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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