bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
