I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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