just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
