What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize