she looked like the bat from fern gully.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
