this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
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Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
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how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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