What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
