went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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