well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
