you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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