So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
