i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
