In America we eat man semen.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
