I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
