It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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