She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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