so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
