Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
