Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
