bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
