She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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