This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
