Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
They are going to name an STD after you.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize