dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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