i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize