ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
