just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
