very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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