weddingsv make me drug and hornr
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
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i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
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These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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