Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize