Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
